Our story

We went into the loft today and found some boxes. The video (a first on Walk In Our Shoes) explains the rest. It felt like good timing having read an email that arrived telling me that the availability of IVF on the NHS is the reason the world is so overpopulated. It's not been the most pleasant of days and this find wasn't the nicest and it shook me. But I firmly believe in talking about IVF and infertility, so here is a bit of our journey.

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Updated links

We've updated our links page to include groups that have helped us along the way and some suggestions. If you have a blog you think will help others, run a site that's help you and you want to share please do comment below or drop a line.

There are so many ways to help, and it's great to get recommendations. 

Thank you.

 

Time To Change

We are having a holiday which is why the blog has been a little quieter than usual. It's been great to spend time together but with leading busy lives, reconnecting isn't always easy. Life carries on outside the holiday bubble (two pregnancy announcements, one invite to a christening and a wedding), so issues of sensitivity and care to good mental health matter even at this time.

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Friday find: resources for men

I use the phrase 'unsung heroes' for men who are living with involuntary childlessness and coming to terms with infertility. If resources and conversation around support for women need to be more mainstream then they can feel invisible for men. Hence, unsung heroes. 

Fortunately there are some great sites and researchers out there providing invaluable work to change that perception. I know from feedback for this site that these resources provide comfort and information to our male contributors and their friends and family, helping to push past feeling of isolation.

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Do you want to write for Walk In Our Shoes?

Walk In Our Shoes often features guest posts from like minded people who share the similar ethos of hope and inspiration.  The site welcomes contributions from authors in the field of loss and involuntary childlessness, events, healing, managing grief and recognised therapies. We love to hear from fellow bloggers and those who run support groups as our ethos is one of sharing.

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#IVFis40

I can vaguely remember hearing about Louise Brown. I wasn't very old and didn't understand what it all meant but wondered why someone made the news.  Her name, of course, has come to mean so much more. She is a sign of hope for many women who wish to be a mother and a benchmark for science.

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World Childless Week. Ouch, in response to comments that hurt.

It’s a reaction that I experience a lot. In my research and continued work with Walk In Our Shoes, Childless Hour and Walking Forwards Inspiration Group I hear of many irritations with people who try to fix by making suggestions. I’ve been told to adopt, try surrogacy, offered eggs and relax to help me find peace. Silence is, for me, probably the worst response because it feels like a shared discomfort that can make me question the validity of my feelings.

I absolutely know, that until I went on this journey and experienced miscarriages and failed IVF, that I too would have not known what to say. 

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World Childless Week. Dealing with invites to baby showers and other events

I often try to put myself on the other side. If someone came up to me, some fifteen years ago (for that’s how long my journey has been), and said I can’t have children what would I have said? How could I have been kinder to that person? Would I have fixed them? Underestimated the pain and how would I have known what to do? I’m midway through a manuscript on this very subject and talking to parents and involuntary childless has been enlightening. It helps to just walk in their shoes, as we ask them to walk in ours.

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