World Childless Week. Ouch, in response to comments that hurt.

It’s a reaction that I experience a lot. In my research and continued work with Walk In Our Shoes, Childless Hour and Walking Forwards Inspiration Group I hear of many irritations with people who try to fix by making suggestions. I’ve been told to adopt, try surrogacy, offered eggs and relax to help me find peace. Silence is, for me, probably the worst response because it feels like a shared discomfort that can make me question the validity of my feelings.

I absolutely know, that until I went on this journey and experienced miscarriages and failed IVF, that I too would have not known what to say. 

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World Childless Week. Dealing with invites to baby showers and other events

I often try to put myself on the other side. If someone came up to me, some fifteen years ago (for that’s how long my journey has been), and said I can’t have children what would I have said? How could I have been kinder to that person? Would I have fixed them? Underestimated the pain and how would I have known what to do? I’m midway through a manuscript on this very subject and talking to parents and involuntary childless has been enlightening. It helps to just walk in their shoes, as we ask them to walk in ours.

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